I'm not capable of the simplest of queries to achieve what is required, although it's something I'd love to be capable of....
Well, then, now is the time to become capable of that! It's far easier than people think.
Using simple SQL, as seems would be plenty for this example, in particular is very easy to learn. What is nice about SQL is that in the first ten minutes of reading the very first chapter of "how to work it" in, say, one of Chris Fehily's fine books on SQL, you can be instantly, confidently productive. It's that easy.
Don't over-think it. Just get started doing it. Even if you only spend 15 minutes a day reading a few pages at a time, you'll get very productive very quickly.
As a learning environment, I recommend 9 over 8. You can download the free Viewer and do SQL to your heart's content. Download the books projects from the product downloads page for 9 (or Viewer) so you can follow along in the Fehily books without having to keyboard all of the many examples.
Viewer is read only, so you can't save a project if you create your own wonderfully cool and intricate queries. But what you can do is copy the text of the query and save it into an ordinary text file in Windows, say, using Notepad. The next time you fire up Viewer you copy the text and paste it back. Or, you can just have multiple Viewer sessions running and leave one open all the time to use as a scratch pad for copying and pasting back and forth. I never turn my systems off so that works for me.
Trust me on this: SQL makes so much stuff so easy and quick when working with data, and SQL is so easy to pick up for simple uses, that the slight effort required to get going with SQL will pay you back a zillion times in time saved and enhanced capabilities.